Changing Gears to Begin again
Choose gratitude over grievance
Changing gears
Life is full of transitions. Some we choose. Others are forced on us. But each is an opportunity to start anew. Each is a call to adventure. As Brendan Kennelly’s poem ‘Begin’ ends: ‘we forever begin’.
Regardless of what may be around the corner, I’m the driver. I am the one who changes gears.
It’s the insight of William Ernest Henley’s ‘Invictus’, which so inspired Nelson Mandela in prison: ‘I am master of my fate, I am captain of my soul.’
Age and Opportunity
I recently completed the Changing Gears programme run by the charity Age and Opportunity. It’s free, and it took only two hours a week for four weeks. I did it online, which suited me. No travel time or expenses. It’s also available in person.
I loved Changing Gears. Its approach is based on your personal life experience; easy for anyone, a doddle for a memoirist! It helped reaffirm my unique self, mining life lessons I’d learnt. It’s ideal for people in mid-career or anticipating retirement. It helped strengthen my personal resilience.
Mind the gap!
Natasha Devon, in an interview in The Guardian, said that where the gap between the real self and the image we portray to others is big, mental health issues can arise. The smaller the gap, the greater our resilience during times of crisis or change. It was a point appreciated by course participants.
The hardest thing to give up is our illusions, which is why I found leaving my priestly path so difficult. I realised that, in my gut, I didn’t believe. Yes, disillusionment is hard but healthy. Only when we abandon our illusions can we live in the real world.
When the gap is small, when we are ourselves and show who we really are to the world, life is easier.
Zelenskyy and resilience
When changing gears in our life, whether freely chosen or something forced on us, we need resilience.
When Putin invaded his sovereign country, President Volodymyr Zelenskyy of Ukraine could have fled. The Americans offered to fly him out. Zelenskyy responded: ‘I don’t want a ride. I need ammo.’
To me, Zelenskyy is an exemplar of resilience: indomitable, leading by example, taking on overwhelming force, asking for help, forming alliances, courageous, taking calculated risks. In the darkest day for Ukraine, he found within himself invincible hope, courage and integrity.
Gratitude over grievance
I once knew a blind man who was a great conversationalist and probably the most popular man in his community. He loved the company of others.
When I asked him about his blindness, he smiled and said he’d much prefer it than being deaf. He encapsulated the triumph of gratitude over grievance.
We’re bombarded with thoughts all the time. We choose which ones to focus on. We can let go of our grievances and, instead, choose things to be grateful for. For health, happiness and wisdom, let gratitude begin.
To enquire about the Changing Gears programme, email: engage@ageandopportunity.ie