Connections & A Profound Question
A Week in a Life, 28 May to 1 June, 2024
Hi there, family and friends,
Snippets from my journals for the last week:
Tuesday 28 May 2024
Drainage Completed
‘Close to 25,000 steps yesterday. Delighted drainage job is completed.’
Shed Demolition & New Foundations
‘Brendan, with his digger, demolished the old shed in a fraction of the time it would have taken me. And he spread and levelled the stones for the foundation of the new shed, saving me a beastly, time-consuming, frustrating job. Yippee!’
Well Improvement
‘I’ve checked my grant application for improvement works to a private well. I intend to deliver it to the County Council by hand today.’
New Song Artwork: So Glad I Married You
‘Our son John, as requested, put the title and artist’s name, The Rayne, on the artwork I sent him for our new song “So Glad I Married You”.’ Written by Andrea Patron, The Rayne and myself, it’ll be released on 28 June 2024 and can be pre-saved, for free here.’
Personal Reflections and Health
Chocolate and Weight Gain
‘I’ve just scoffed the remainder of a bag of chocolate raisins. I’ve put on seven pounds in the past month. I’m almost as heavy as I was at Christmas.
I’m working my way through things in the freezer. I intend defrosting it tomorrow.’
Wednesday 29 May 2024
Returning to Cycling
‘Declan (a local bike mechanic) has returned my bike.’ It lay unused since covid. My cycling buddy, Dermot, has urged me to get back on it. Now that it’s been serviced and cleaned, I’ve no excuses. Time to get back on me bike!
Emotional Journey During Separation
Cairns, Sydney, Dubai, Dublin
‘Ruth is at Sydney airport. She landed from Cairns less than an hour ago. Her flight to Dubai is scheduled for 6 a.m. tomorrow, local time. She has to be there by 3 a.m.’
Household Chores and Organisation
I defrosted the freezer last night. I’m on top of the washing of clothes. The fridge is clean, managed and ordered.’
The Dance of Life
‘It’s been an interesting month apart. Unexpectedly lonely, at times emotional for me. From discombobulation to creating a manageable, adapted way of “dancing”.’ That was my image of the experience—like a man used to dancing with his wife feeling disorientated by her absence in the dance of life.
Audiobook Neglect Amid Busyness
‘I hardly went near my audiobook all month but I’ve been so busy.’
Thursday 30 May 2024
‘Ruth will be home tonight. Due in Dublin Airport at 8.10 p.m.’
Sauna, Chill Time and Garden Work
‘I’ve had a sauna this morning, a long chill time. I worked very hard yesterday in the garden, trimming shrubs and hedges, and extracting nettles and briars and tidying it all up afterwards.’
Broadband Negotiation and Sweet Treats
‘Earlier, I negotiated a good deal with Eir, a new two-year contract on our broadband. Just ate a chocolate marshmallow biscuit. Gorgeous. My diet and discipline have gone out the door this month.’
Remembering Susan and Life’s Mysteries
30 Years Since Susan’s Passing
‘Ciaran, Susan’s partner, will visit and maybe stay overnight over the weekend. It’s 30 years since Susan died.’
Impact of Susan’s Death on Our Lives
Susan was killed in a car crash in 1994. Her sudden, tragic death triggered our decision to come home to live in Ireland; and for me to quit teaching to see if I could make a living as a writer. (That tragedy, while Ruth was pregnant, and how we responded to it, is explored in my second memoir, Saved by a Woman.)
Saturday 1 June 2024
‘Ciaran is here. He stayed overnight. We had a good chat and walk with the dog.
‘It’s extraordinary to reflect that our children are now about the age that Susan was when she died. And we’re about the ages that her parents were. Yesterday was her 30th anniversary.’
Life’s Unfathomable Connections
Lost Lives and New Birth
‘Unfathomable. Just like I can’t fathom that my existence and that of my children is contingent upon the death of Joan, my dad’s first wife, so too Ciaran’s two children would not exist if Susan had not been killed. New life is born of death.
‘Lives meet and diverge. Life and beauty were lost. New birth came. But lost lives—Joan and Susan—are remembered with sadness, mystery and awe.’
The Big Question We Each Must Ask
‘This is my time on earth. It’s the blink of an eye. How do I want to spend my remaining time?
‘Self-aware. Healthy for as long as possible. Mentally with it. Capable of, and actually, journalling.
‘Learning. Awake. Listening. Grateful. Questioning. Thinking. Living at home for as long as possible, ideally dying here, in the home dreamt up by Ruth and me, designed and planned and built by us.’
Monday 3 June 2024
Emotional Turbulence: Reflecting on Shifts in Purpose
‘I’m feeling a bit emotional. My raison d’être is uncertain. I’ve stopped doing Humanist ceremonies (or choosing to do very few of them), which I was good at, and I’ve ground my audiobook to a halt. And I’ve no idea about whether or not to research for a third memoir.
Overwhelmed by Tasks: Finding Balance Amidst Chaos
‘I feel a bit overwhelmed by tasks still remaining to be done in the garden and house: replace the boiler, level the shed foundations, deal with the demolished shed, hoe weeds, level and resow lawn, next phase of the water treatment project. My office is a tip. I need to do my accounts for the past year. The two things I was good at—writing and ceremonies—are on hold or terminated.’
Contemplating a Third Memoir
Thanks for your responses
I’d like to thank those of you who took the time and care to respond—some in considered detail—to my question last week about whether or not to write my third and final memoir. Your responses have gone into my thinking cauldron where they will stew until the time is right for me to decide on my next dish!
Tuesday 4 June 2024, 4.30 a.m.
‘Yesterday I was back to healthy eating. Ruth and I walked Mullaghmeen Forest and then drove to Oldcastle but Speedy’s bar (see last week’s Joe the Human Substack) was closed for the afternoon. Ruth thanked me for all I did in her absence.’
Reorientated
‘I think today is the first time since Ruth went to Oz that I’ve risen at 4 a.m. It feels good.
“I’m back!” I’m tempted to say.’
Happy days,
Joe
Pre-save our new song ‘So Glad I Married You’ for free by clicking here.
Saved by a Woman is available on Amazon in Kindle, Paperback, and Hardback editions.
In My Gut, I Don’t Believe is available on Amazon in Kindle, Paperback, Hardback and Audible editions.
If you go to Amazon and it says a particular edition isn’t available, simply change the domain name or territory in the URL or address bar. For instance, change "Amazon.co.uk" to "Amazon.com" or "Amazon.de" etc.
You can listen to fascinating questions about godlessness at the launch of the first memoir, In My Gut, I Don’t Believe, on the Losing My Religion Podcast or watch it on YouTube.
You can listen to more fascinating questions at the launch of Saved by a Woman on the Losing My Religion Podcast or the Joe the Human post and Podcast.
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Happy days,
Joe