Hi there,
I felt disappointed by my performance at a Toastmasters Speech Contest last night. I came third but I was in it to win it. Those who beat me deserved to do so. Congratulations to both and to one and all who competed!
But it’s not a nice feeling having underperformed. I had a good script. I’d spent a lot of time writing and developing it. I had good props. I learnt the speech very well, memorising the lines by heart. I rehearsed it quite a bit, working out where to stand, when to move and what gestures I might use.
So what went wrong for me last night, after all my hard work? And why does it matter?
The Value of Competition
I remember as a teenager being baffled by adults putting their time and energy into competitions like golf, rugby or other competitive challenges.
What difference does it make whether you win or lose a golf tournament, a race or play the best tennis?
At times during the last couple of weeks, I’ve wondered why I wanted to win. Winning a speech contest doesn’t solve world hunger, end the war in Ukraine or help the people of Gaza.
I even set aside progressing the recording and editing of my audiobook in order to write and finesse the best speech I could do.
‘Good luck, bad luck, who knows?’ as one superb speaker asked in her speech last night.
Failure as a Teacher
Fail better, suggested Samual Beckett. We can learn more by losing than by winning. With each failure, we’re that bit closer to success.
Many an Irish heart felt disappointed when we failed to get two Grand Slams in the rugby this year. Winning two Championships back-to-back somehow felt like failure.
The Humility of Losing
Losing keeps us humble. It keeps our feet on the ground. It keeps us learning.
As well as the speech contest, there was also an evaluation contest last night. The winner, a friend of mine, thoroughly deserved to win and she was exuberant with delight, understandably and deservedly so. Winning feels good. Losing hurts.
Analysing Performance
I’m not sure why I didn’t perform at my best last night. I didn’t own the stage. I started speaking on the opposite side of the table than I had practised. It knocked my stage movements out of kilter for the whole speech.
I hadn’t adequately considered the actual speaking area. My opening words were meant to end with me jumping forward, but I hadn’t thought through the limited space between the table and the front row, nor the tighter-than-expected angle. The anticipated dramatic jump to set the scene for the speech was a damp squib. And like an eejit I mentioned how poor it was and did it again: a masterclass in what not to do!
I was more in rehearsal than performance mode, before and during the speech; failing to be in the moment, realising that this was the actual contest. That might explain why I redid the jump, making my inane comment about how bad the first one had been! (The second one wasn’t much better.)
I was announcing to the audience right from my introduction: this isn’t going to be a great performance.
The props were lower than I’d expected and I felt much of the audience couldn’t see the hourglass I used to represent time. It made pointing to it pointless. Realising this, I could have picked it up and held it aloft but I wasn’t ‘in’ the moment, and didn’t think of it.
I had my back to the door; literally and metaphorically, an uncomfortable place to be. I would have been better off standing stage left throughout my speech, with my eye on the door, jettisoning my plan to move from one side of the props to the other.
The organisers were wonderful, facilitating all speakers and effectively chairing a packed agenda. They made available their top table for my props. But I would have been better seeing if the props could fit on a smaller table that was also available. I didn’t ask or check during the one minute allowed to set up any props. By not doing so, I was already not owning the stage, before I’d uttered a word of my speech.
Lessons from Experience
I don’t remember ever being taught in school how to fail better. Nor that failure is an inevitable and necessary experience in any competitive endeavour. Failing better means learning from failure to grow and improve. We need to embrace failure as our teacher.
The Importance of Being Present
What I could have done last night was to come into the moment with my five senses. While the prospect of doing so might have seemed daring at the time, I could have paused, stepped back for a moment, taken a breath, looked at my audience, listened, touched my glass of water, sipped from it; and, reconnected with my purpose in that moment, resumed my speech.
Happy days,
Joe
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