Never judge a book by its cover
But covering the book, and women, is important!
A naked woman?
They say never judge a book by its cover. But the cover is important. I thought I had a brilliant cover for my second memoir Saved by a Woman, but the woman in question’s reaction reminded me of the earworm in Amy Winehouse’s song Rehab: ‘No, no, no’!
OK, it was a picture of a naked woman. But I thought it was tasteful, not too revealing and I felt it made a great contrast to the picture of my profession cross on the cover of my first memoir In My Gut, I Don’t Believe.
(The picture I had in mind was, to be fair, more revealing that the photo above!)
Eve vs. the Blessed Virgin Mary
I also thought it countered the negativity I picked up about sex and women from my Catholic background, and nine years of celibacy and training for the priesthood. All that guff about Eve being the cause of mankind’s fall. And that we could only be saved by a Virgin Mother – because sex always involved sin. What poppycock!
That and the 2,000-year tradition of Catholicism which shamed women for being women, seizing their absence of a penis, even in this day and age, to exclude them from the priesthood.
Church lacks ‘authority’ to ordain women?
As if having a penis would make you a better priest! Or that the distinguishing thing about Jesus was that he had a penis; rather than his being a human being.
And it is ridiculous beyond credulity that the autocratic Catholic Church claims that the only thing it does not have authority to do is to ordain women! It’s laughable, showing the tissue of lies and illusion upon which its whole myth is based.
Anyway, I thought it was a super cover. But the most important person in my life went: ‘No, no, no!’
Herself and Himself?
So then we agreed on a great photo of Herself and the Author, Mr. and Mrs., taken some years ago. But we don’t own the copyright to the picture and, for reasons we don’t understand, my emails, completed and submitted online forms and phone calls to the copyright holder have so far, over several days, failed to grant permission. Which, while not ‘No, no, no!’ renders it impossible to use, at least for now. And today is the designated day to design the cover because of a visitation.
The Artist visits
My son’s profession is computers and art. He’s really good at it. The Artist is at home today and for a few hours tomorrow before he flies back to foreign lands. So, without permission to use the copyrighted picture, we need to come up with Plan C.
What’s more, the Artist wasn’t much taken by my mockup of the cover with The Love of My Life and the Author. In a further humiliation, he also agreed with Herself that my first idea of the naked woman was dire. While I was thinking this cover shouts Redeeming Eve, he was thinking: ‘This cover shouts Porn’. Which, I concede, was not my intention; and just might send out the wrong vibe!
So, what will The Artist come up with today (if he ever gets out of bed)? Nothing, perhaps, if he reads this. But as I suspect he’s not reading my substack, I might get away with it!