Own Your Power: Set Boundaries
Bye Bye Patience! Hello Action!
A Tale of Two Experiences: Trust, Communication, and Different Outcomes
Have you ever found yourself caught between patience and the need to act?
The First Experience: When Trust Breaks Down
Let’s start with the bad experience, a situation where communication broke down and everyone lost.
Several months ago, we ordered a product from a well-regarded provider. They estimated a delivery window of six to eight weeks, potentially longer. We were patient and willing to wait. After seven weeks, I requested an update and was told it would be another three to four weeks. This stretched our expectations but was still manageable.
Weeks turned into months. After 15 weeks, I followed up again—no answer. A few more attempts led to vague assurances but no concrete progress. Promises were made, deadlines were missed, and communication became sporadic. Eventually, after several more weeks of unanswered calls and the product still not delivered, we had no choice but to cancel the order.
A Second Chance at Better Communication
The second tale also involved communication issues with another provider.
For almost four weeks, I left messages, sent emails, and even had another department within the organization contact them on my behalf. Despite all these efforts, I received no response. Frustrated and anxious, I emailed them again and followed up with a call the next morning. This time, instead of reaching voicemail, someone answered.
I expressed my frustration directly, questioning why my messages had gone unanswered and challenging their explanations, which didn’t align with the facts.
Within minutes, a senior representative called back to apologize. They addressed all my concerns, and we established a new, more reliable communication process to ensure this wouldn’t happen again.
Trust and its Fragility
Both experiences were emotionally draining. While I’m glad I trusted and was patient, understanding that both providers were busy and I wasn’t their only customer, there came a point when I had to act.
I realized that respecting myself meant setting a reasonable deadline and expecting a satisfactory response.
The Fine Line Between Patience and Inaction
There is a fine line between patience and inaction, between waiting in good faith and waiting too long.
While patience may be a virtue, it can easily turn into passive resignation. Time does run out. At some point, assertiveness is necessary—clear communication, setting boundaries, and establishing deadlines for the other party to meet your expectations.
The Challenge of Competent Communication
From my philosophical studies, I know communication can be deceptively difficult. Like walking, we often take it for granted. Someone may be excellent at their craft but lack the communication skills to manage expectations. The person you’re dealing with may not be as skilled a communicator as you are, and understanding that is key to handling situations like these.
The Power of Boundaries and Ultimatums
In both cases, setting a deadline was the turning point.
It may feel confrontational, but when issues remain unresolved for too long, setting boundaries is necessary to regain control. In the first situation, I was too accommodating, but in the second, I refused to allow the issue to linger any further.
Taking Action as Self-Respect
Empathy has its place, but ultimately, I had to take decisive action—whether cancelling the order or setting a deadline for formal escalation. It wasn’t just about resolving the issue: it was about standing up for myself and taking control of the situation.
Resilience and Moving On
Both situations caused frustration and anxiety, but they also led to personal growth.
I’ve found a new provider for the cancelled order, renewing my trust in others by working with someone who is reliable and conscientious. My relationship with the senior representative in the second example has improved beyond my expectations, with their follow-up actions aligning with their apology.
Conclusion
These two experiences, though frustrating and emotionally draining, taught me invaluable lessons about trust, communication, and self-respect. In both cases, I began by giving the benefit of the doubt and exercising patience, only to find myself needing to draw boundaries when communication faltered.
By taking decisive action—whether through cancelling an order or setting a final deadline—I learned the importance of standing up for myself.
Call to Action
Are you waiting patiently for something to happen? Do you need to take control by setting a deadline? What do you fear might happen if you did so?
Feel free to share privately by email or in the comments below. Or just do it!
Happy days,
Joe
Listen to our song So Glad I Married You on Spotify or YouTube, sung by The Rayne.
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Joe’s acclaimed first memoir In My Gut, I Don’t Believe is available on Amazon in Kindle, Paperback, Hardback and Audible editions. His second memoir Saved by a Woman is available on Amazon in Kindle, Paperback, and Hardback editions.
