Trump and Putin — Read between the Bombs
What Putin might be thinking after Trump bombed Iran’s nuclear sites.
What might Putin be thinking?
Emboldened by Trump’s bombing of nuclear sites in Iran — which seems to have ended the Israel-Iran war — might Putin use the same tactic in Ukraine?
Trump’s bombing of Iran led to adulation from NATO’s head — in Mark Rutte’s ‘private’ fawning message of congratulations, promptly shared by Trump to the world.
If you were Putin, might you be thinking...
The Moment I’ve Been Waiting For
There it is. The moment I’ve been waiting for. The Americans have dropped the mask and picked a method — force.
Not just a drone strike. Not a cyber poke. Not a deniable explosion at 3 a.m. No. Trump bombed Iran’s nuclear facilities. He didn’t blink. He didn’t wait for allies. Or even tell them. (Seems the post-imperial irrelevant Brits heard just 40 minutes in advance!) Donald just did it.
No Need to Hesitate
So why should I hesitate?
Let the West wring their hands. Let their commentators tweet about international law. Let the Germans have another summit. I will have results.
I will have new territory.
It’s simple, like my friend Donald knows. Act bold, act fast, act alone. Hell, I should send him a thank-you note.
Trump has done for me what no KGB operation ever could:
— divided Europe,
— spooked NATO,
— and turned the United States inward, paranoid, and hungry for spectacle.
My Kind of Genius
My mate Trump is a genius of chaos. My kind of genius.
I don't need to wait anymore. The ‘international community’ is just a WhatsApp group for has-beens. The UN is a hospice for irrelevance. International law lies in tatters — I dance on it! I will strike where I choose.
Kiev, Kharkiv, Odessa — Let’s See
Kharkiv? Odessa? Let’s see.
My generals are cautious, yes — afraid of escalation. But what escalation? Doddery Biden is gone. Europe can’t go it alone. And Trump? He’ll admire it. Called me a genius, he did. How perceptive of him! Though only one of us is. And it’s not The Donald. Smart, but no genius.
He might tweet something childish: “Putin’s a killer — but strong. I like strong.”
Then go golfing. Maybe launch another new fragrance: Dominion by Trump. Smells like bravado and bunker oil.
The Media Will Cry — Then Move On
And what will the media do?
The same thing they always do — film the explosions, cry crocodile tears, then move on to the next story.
Within 12 days — why not? — our tanks will be parked in Kiev, and Kyiv will be consigned, like Zelensky, to history.
One Bite at a Time
The Baltic States? Not now — but soon. The key is to normalize aggression, blaming the invaded for all special military operations. Normalize conquest. Like weather. Like day and night. Like American mass shootings.
I will take one bite at a time, fortified by my friend Donald’s success and adulation. I’ll let him have Greenland. Then it’s the Baltics for me. Canada for him. Then I fancy a bit of Poland.
Some folks read the wires for diplomacy. Well, I read between the bombs…
Sleep well, everybody.
Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin
Joe Armstrong’s acclaimed first memoir In My Gut, I Don’t Believe is available on Amazon in Kindle, Paperback, Hardback and Audible editions. His second memoir Saved by a Woman is available on Amazon in Kindle, Paperback, and Hardback editions.
So frightening!
Chilling.