Randomness vs. God's will vs. destiny:
Which one shapes our lives?
Hi there,
Welcome to my newsletter, where I share my insights and reflections on writing my second memoir, Saved by a Woman, which I’ve almost completed.
In this issue, I want to talk about the role of randomness in our lives and how it can lead to unexpected and life-changing outcomes.
Giving meaning to the random
As I look back on my life, I realize that I have given shape and meaning to things that were essentially random. The human psyche cannot cope with the chaos and uncertainty of life, so we seek patterns and connections to make sense of it all. We create our own stories and narratives to explain why things happened the way they did.
But sometimes, we can also change our interpretation of the past as we grow and evolve. For example, I used to put a religious spin on my life events, believing that everything was part of God's plan for me. But now, I see things differently. I see how chance and coincidence have influenced my path and choices.
A random encounter that changed my life
One of the most pivotal moments in my life was when I met Ruth, the woman who saved me from a lonely and unfulfilling life. It was a pure accident that brought us together. Here's an extract from my second memoir on how it happened:
‘My life turned on a coffee. Or was it my new shoes or jacket? Or that I attended an event, and sat in a random chair?’
Perhaps a week earlier, ‘I had sought sartorial assistance from the Indian proprietor of a men’s clothes shop in Ilford, emerging with a green cashmere jacket, matching silk tie, shirt, trousers and shoes.
‘I wore my new gear to a training event on middle-management in the secondary school. At breaktime, coffee in hand, I sat down. A girl to my right had an Irish accent. Mary Morrow swears it was my nice shoes she noticed first. My memory is it was my jacket.
‘She taught at New Hall, a girls’ private fee-paying boarding school in the Essex countryside. I taught in a Newham boys’ comprehensive, in the disadvantaged East End of London. Mary invited me to visit her school.’
That invitation led to a friendship with Mary and an introduction to Ruth, who also taught at New Hall. Ruth and I hit it off right away and soon started dating. She became my soulmate, my partner, and my wife. She helped me find happiness and peace.
Choosing randomness over God's will or destiny
Looking back on it, I can only marvel at how my life is built on happenchance. Sure, religious folk will see God’s hand in it all. Others will banish randomness by imagining a hidden destiny that shapes our ends. I choose raw randomness; and it evokes in me awe and wonder.
What about you? How do you view randomness in your life? Do you believe in fate or free will? Do you have any stories of how a random encounter or event changed your life?
I would love to hear from you. Please leave a comment below or reply to this email. And if you enjoyed this newsletter, please share it with your friends and family.
Joe Armstrong’s first memoir is In My Gut, I Don’t Believe. For reviews, see here. He is currently writing his second memoir, Saved by a Woman.
Thank you for reading and subscribing!
Leave a comment
Great question. Circumstances shape who we are, but also our intentions. We put ourselves into positions to be open to new relationships, jobs, random conversations that then further shape our existence. It's the greatest thing about life. What happens next is unwritten, but how you react to the next page can change everything. Keep up the good work.